POLITICAL CORRECTNESS BE DAMNED

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas to you who are reading this! I don't know if you celebrate Christmas or not, and you are offended by this, well, don't be, it's a happy day anyways, as every day should be! No political correctness anymore!
As I am writing this, it is actually Christmas eve, I just know that it will be Christmas by the time I have the Internet to connect to. What a nice (and crazy) day, at least for me. I got to wake up early and complete the project of screening in the back porch, which is now finished and looking great! I went to a movie with my family, and I also left my wallet there and didn't realize it until, hmm, maybe 15 minutes ago? I hope it is there tomorrow, it would kind of suck if it wasn't! 
Also, I dropped a pack of 18 eggs, but only 5 were un-recoverable! Eggs don't like me, not too long ago I dropped a carton of eggs while getting them out of the fridge, and broke them all, and they leaked under the fridge so I had to move it and then mop up the floor.
Also I did last minute Christmas shopping for my little brother! I am so good at procrastinating.
So after all of this excitement, I had a nice dinner with my family, and now I am making my way to a midnight mass, after which I will go home, wrap my last minute gift, post this, and go to bed. 

Okay, I'm sure that you have hear of the song "Joy to the World", it's a nice song about the meaning and the origin of Christmas, but people put many different lyrics to the tune. Growing up, I think I was about 8, the were terrible lyrics that disturbed me so much that I actually had trouble sleeping, and to this day, even though I've gotten over it along time ago, whenever I hear the song, those lyrics come to mind and make me feel a little jumpy.

And now, for another version of "Oh Tannenbaum" which I did not make up!

(sung to the tune of "Oh Tannenbaum/Christmas tree) 

"Oh Tom the toad, oh Tom the toad,
Why did you have to cross the road?
Oh Tom the toad, oh Tom the toad,
Why did you have to cross the road?
You used to be so green and fat,
But now you are so red and flat
Oh Tom the toad, oh Tom the toad,
Why did you have to cross the road?"

I'm feeling so tired, how will I be able to stay up until 1:30 or later in the morning? 

(in case you are wondering, I did stay up, I made it, and it is now 2:30 in the morning and I am still awake, and still have not wrapped my last minute gift to my amazing and best little brother! I will do that in the morning I think, goodnight world!)

Like I Said...

TADA
Plus some sandhill cranes I did more recently, like, yesterday. I promise I will get a real post up soon, no pictures for those of you who like reading without pictures 

Geckos, Tigers, And Heels, Oh My!

Let it be known that:

I got three hours of sleep last night!
My hands and clothes are covered in paint
And so it my knee, very badly covered in paint
I finished the tiger and the gecko paintings!
All I have left is the heels...have I ever mentioned how much I just don't care about shoes?

I mean honestly, I wear sneakers all the time, and also those $10 shoes from Target, so who am I to be painting shoes for someone? But she liked shoes, so I really have no choice, but I shall make them look as interesting as possible! When I get pictures I will post them in the next blog!

Painting all day, still in my pajamas, hungry, and tired, but extremely happy so that is all right!

And of course there was a movie on that I 'watched' while working, and it was Elf. It always makes me laugh.

There are so many dead ants in the doorframe of the sliding porch door, it's creeping me out, and somehow I think Sir Lizalot is trying to build up an army of zombie insects so that they can let him out of his jar... I better keep an eye on him

Okay, I guess I should finish what I started, so have a great day!

If You Couldn't Tell

I am still unmotivated. Why else would I be here right now, typing blogs that no one reads?

Anyone reading any of these posts might think I am crazy, but I am perfectly sane and I also have ll A's right now. I am normal. And Lizalot is still dancing. At least I don't have yellow wallpaper.

(to the music of "Oh Tannenbaum" or "Oh Christmas Tree")

OH TANNENBAUM OH TANNENBAUM
THIS SONG CAN GET ANNOYING
OH TANNENBAUM OH TANNENBAUM
THE WORD IS SO CONFUSING
IT SHOULD JUST BE "OH CHRISTMAS TREE"
BUT IT IS NOT, BECAUSE YOU SEE
OH TANNENBAUM CAN ALSO MEAN
A PLACE IN ALABAMAAAAAAAA

OH TANNENBAUM OH TANNENBAUM
YOU MEAN SOMETHING ELSE ALSO
OH TANNENBAUM OH TANNENBAUM
IT'S SOMETHING PRETTY AWFUL
YOU WERE A PLANNED INVASION
BY NAZIS OF POOR SWITZERLAND
IN WORLD WAR TWO, BUT THANKFULLY
OPERATION TANNENBAUM WAS CANCELLLLLLLED

(yes, I just made that up)

You must know by now that I am ridiculously bored, and ridiculous was always a word I couldn't spell, and now I think I need to find a different way to get my motivation back, so I am going to put in a movie and try to paint some.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS IF YOU CELEBRATE THOSE

Sir Lizalot: An Epic

I have a story to tell, about brave Sir Lizalot. He started out normal, as any lizard does, and he lived in an ancient barn with an ancient truck, a truck that happened to be the same one my dad learned to drive in as a kid. Now, this brave little lizard wasn't so brave at all, in face, the whole name of Sir Lizalot was just a figment of his imagination, but he didn't have any friends so there was no one to tell him that it wasn't his real name. In fact, no one told him that lizards don't have names. Poor Sir Lizalot was eating a grapefruit one day out of a tree next to the barn, and suddenly this child picked him up by the tail, so he tried to drop his tail but it didn't work, and he ended up just breaking it so that it just hung over the side and didn't move anymore. The child had chubby, sweaty, smelly fingers and he wouldn't let Sir Lizalot go. So Sir Lizalot gathered the power he had, and while squirming, a giant coconut fell out of the tree, the grapefruit tree I might add, and hit the boy on the head. As Sir Lizalot was falling to the ground, he was snatched up by a passing penguin who then flew up to the highest tree, demanding that the lizard teach him to swim. Upon hearing the request, the flock of flying fish that happened to be in the tree picked the penguin up and flew him to the nearest bathtub, leaving Sir Lizalot up in the giant tree. But the tree wasn't really a tree at all, as it turns out, it was a witch who had been disguising herself since the Salem days, and it just so happens that the only way to end the disguise was to have a penguin touch the tree, for she really loved cold weather and wanted the ice age to be there by th time she woke up. So, she woke up, picked up the lizard that was hanging on for dearmlife off the side of her arm, and she blamed him for delaying the ice age and put a curse on him, one that would make him more and more tired until he fell asleep. She set him down and Sir Lizalot ran for his life, back to the barn, and as he was running across (or rather, staggering across because he was becoming extremely sleepy) he dropped down on the middle of that giant old hood of the truck and fell asleep (in a position where he looks almost like he is dancing).

Years later there was this very cool person visiting in the area. This very cool person we shall call 'Z'. So, Z was walking in the woods and found this really cool swirled up, leafy twig on the ground and picked it up. They then passed by the barn and decided to explore it because Z's father was there to look at the truck that he learned to drive in when he was a kid. So, Z stumbled across this lizard skeleton on the hood of the truck, and like any other sane person, deiced to name it and keep it in a jar. The broken tail broke off, and also, for fun and decoration, Z threw the swirly, leafy twig into the jar with Sir Lizalot. A week later it is sitting on Z's desk, and in the middle of the night/morning (around 3:00am) while painting, Z happens to look over at the desk where Sir Lizalot and his tail reside, and he is dancing a Latin dance.

You see, what happened was that the swirly, leafy twig was a twig from a resurrection fern, and the witches spell of sleeping was only to last until Sir Lizalot was in a jar with a dead twig of resurrection fern, and this is the true story of Sir Lizalot.

I look over, and he is still dancing. Is it possible for a skull to wink?

Haha

I am tired.

Motivation?

DAY 5 OF MY MONTH LONG BREAK, I am going to go insane. I think I have Cabin Fever. Not only that, but I have only done one thing productive, and that was to paint a picture of a giraffe, and I figured out how to add a photo, so here it is!

And everything else I have done involved playing Pokemon Heart Gold (With action replay, TAKE THAT BROCK, I STOLE YOUR KABUTOPS!)  Messing around on my piano, playing Skyward Sword, and also watching movies like Muppet Treasure Island and Beauty And The Beast. I think I need to get a social life!

Anyways, I have three things I need to paint: A gecko, a tiger, and a pair of pink heels........BEFORE THURSDAY COMES AROUND IF I CAN. It seems impossible because my DS is right in front of me and I am so tempted to just sit on the couch.

Hmm, this post if different from the others. I think I am actually talking about my day, holy crap.

I have to point out something, dubstep dancers are very hypnotic and I cant believe people can move like that, it almost makes me cringe because I don't think we should be able to move like that! But here I am, on YouTube, looking up these crazy people doing crazy and entertaining things, and I just can't look away! So much for motivation.

Later!

Colors Dont Exist, Must Be Kismet

I have been thinking, If colors are just reflected light off of a surface, it is reasonable to assume that in the dark, color doesn't exist. They cease existence when there is complete darkness, and now all we have to do is prove that light exists.

And now I shall re-write a famous line written by someone I don't know
"if light is shining on a tree, and no one is around to see it, does it have color?"


KISMET. FATE. DESTINY. WORDS THAT ARE USED OFTEN TO MAKE YOU SOUND ROMANTIC. I'm partial to Kismet, polish I think? No wait, it's Turkish, my bad... I had never heard of it before and I can't remember now when I finally did, it is very fun to say. Kismet, kismet, kismet.

"Did you see that?" "No, what was it?" "It was a big red bird with fluffy pink feet."

If you can tell me what that quote is from (without cheating, not that you would tell me) I will dedicate my next blog to you and your great taste in tv shows.

A month, a month of no college, no homework, no tests, no pretending to study, what will I do with my time? I don't even have work, not until Janurary. I suppose I could go meet some amazing people and have the time of my life, or I can sit at home and paint like I plan to, maybe mess around with music until I get tired of it, pet my cat, ponder my existence, cound the bumps on my ceiling, read a book I've read over and over already...
I know what I will do.

I'm going to turn a sheep into a kangaroo. Want to watch?

NOW ON WITH THE SHOW.

Vulpophobia: Bright Side, There Is No Bright Side, So Go Watch A Movie.

I'm a sucker for movies, especially the old Disney classics. I watched "The Fox And The Hound" last night for the first time since I was probably 5 years old, and it made me cry so much. Then again, I'm a crier, I cry at least once during any movie I see.

As long as it's well done, if it's a terrible movie I might just be crying because it hurts to watch.

"Forever is a long, long time, and time has a way of changing things."

Speaking of phobias-
Wouldn't it be weird if you walked up to a person, opened your mouth to talk, and they turned away or closed their eyes? Or maybe they have a scarf and they stuff it in your mouth or cover your mouth in some way with it, or maybe they ask you to not say anything, and if you do say something they ask that you cover your mouth? If this happened to me, I would probably wonder if maybe I had bad breath, or maybe there is something in my teeth, or perhaps the person is just a little crazy. I wonder if this has happened to anyone, if anyone does this, and the reason I ask is because of cartilogenophobia, the fear of bones.

I was looking up phobias for fun in my spare time at work, found some that amused me such as papyrophobia (fear of paper), barophobia (fear of gravity), and phobophobia (fear of phobias).

Running through the list I ran into cartilogenophobia and began to wonder if the fear of bones included teeth, and that is where the above situation came from. What if someone was so afraid of bones, they couldn't stand to see people talk or smile? That would be pretty hard, you can't ask everyone in the world to cover their mouths, and you can't just decide to go blind so that you won't have to see anything. How would they brush their teeth? They would probably have a hard time walking into a dentist, or even just a doctors office. Biology or human anatomy and physiology would be classes they might not be able to handle. It's just interesting to me, maybe I'll do real research instead of making up assumptions that are probably very wrong. (instead of studying for my finals)

My eyes are closing, I think they are saying that it is time for a nap, but I'm in a library full of people frantically studying for finals (and I should be one of them) so I'm not sure if I can sleep here or not.

I shall say goodbye in two diffeent perspectives:



Optimistic: I will talk to you later, the sun will be shining and you will be reading my blog and maybe I will eat a cookie today and so will you! I hope you have an amazingly terrific day!

Pessimistic: I would say goodbye if there was anyone reading this to even say goodbye to. I would say "talk to you later" but I might die in the next few minutes and then I would be lying. I would say "have a nice day" but really, what's the point? There is no such thing as a nice day.

But I am not pessimistic, for the most part, so have a great day!

Am I The Only One Who Feels Extremely Guilty For Any Little Thing I Do Wrong?

It's true, I am so easily guilted I probably make people sick. If I do something to hurt, or if I think I may have hurt someone even if they don't show and signs of it, I feel extremely bad. If I am late, especially if I am late in seeing someone I really wanted to see...I feel so terribly bad.

On the bright side, feeling guilty isn't so bad, I think, I am often told by people I know that I am the nicest and sweetest person they know, they must not know me all the way, and friends of my parents always thought my brother and I were the greatest kids, but my brother doesn't have this guilt complex that I do.

So, I shall start right now by apologizing, a lot, to anyone I have ever hurt or inconvenienced, and even though no one I know reads this blog and no one I know would know it was mine, I am going to do it anyways. So, here it goes---

---I am so sorry, from the bottom of my heart I am apologizing to you because I did something and I feel very badly about it. It may have been that I said something offensive and didn't notice until later, or I was insensitive, or maybe I didn't hold the door open for you and you ran into it. Maybe I forgot something important or didn't do my part of the project, maybe I took something that wasn't mine, maybe I said I would do something or be somewhere and I didn't do it or I wasn't there. From the bottom of my toes I also apologize because my heart is rather small in comparison to the rest of my body, so maybe I shall also apologize form the bottom of a lake, or the bottom of a trench, or from the core of the earth because that's as deep as I could possibly be to apologize from. Knowing that I am feeling this bad is punishment enough to know that I hurt you, please accept my deepest from-the-core-of-the-earth apology because really, I don't hate anyone and I love you. Forgive me?

And the reason I am writing this is because someone I was supposed to see today went looking for me when I said I would be somewhere, and unfortunately I got caught up with something, and though I left at the earliest opportunity I could, the person left because they didn't have much time to begin with and I will not see them today because of my lateness.

So yes, it's a normal day with some stress because I still haven't finished studying for the final that I have in 51 minutes (and counting)

Dashed hopes a the worst kind of hopes.

There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

FROM THE CORE OF THE EARTH

I Only Like Hats As Long As They Look Good On Someone Else.

I have this deep admiration for guys who can wear hats and look good doing it. Not basebal caps, no, I can hardly stand those, and not cowboy hats or anything ridiculous, but classy hats. Fedoras, berets, newsboy caps (especially the newsboy caps) I admire guys who can wear these and look good doing it. I don't look good in hats, but I wish I did because I would wear them every day if I did! I guess you could say that the thing I am obsessing over now in place of birds is hats. I should paint a snazzy black bird in a fedora, yessssssss.

Finals week! Guess what? I haven't studied a bit. I kept putting it off and putting it off over the weekend, so at work I was studying for one of my exams that I am taking today. I procrastinated so much and I shouldn't have, but I think I will do fine

And despite being a little stressed, the day pitied is beautiful and for some reason I am feeling extremely happy, and for no real reason at all! I love days like this, the weather really is perfect, not cold, not hot, blue skies, calm water on the pond, and a breeze! I LOVE it! So I am sharing my happiness with you, so that if you aren't having this kind of day or weather, maybe now you can visualize it!

I belong in the 20's, I really truly do, in my heart I do, though I may not look like it. Someone give me the address to the nearest time machine and I will forever be in your debt!

Enjoy this day, you can only live it once!

Jack And Jill Went Up The Hill, And The Story Makes No Sense

Before I begin, here is the original story. (for those of you who have never heard it.)

"Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after."

It doesn't even rhyme.

To begin telling you about why this makes no sense, I would first like to point out that there is normally no water source at the top of a hill. You don't go "up to the river" you go "down to the river" (this is also in the Bible and in worship songs, so really, who can argue?) although there are mountains with waterfalls, it's because there was snow, and normally mountains have some water-thing at the bottom where it drains so there is no need to go up a mountain. Besides, it is a hill, not a mountain. Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. I imagined a well. A well at the top of the hill. This is way more work than it should be because for starters, walking up a hill is not easy, it's tiring, and secondly, who would put a well at the top of a hill? You would have to dig way deeper because you would have to get to the water table below the surface, and also below the hill, so you would end up spending a ton of energy and time digging when you could have just done part of the work on level ground. The theory that maybe there is a house on top of the hill and the owners wanted a well could work, but in the process of building that house they would probably have had to drag all of the materials for it up the hill, which is also a lot of work. Not only this, but Jack and Jill could probably find a well on level ground and closer anyways. Then again, if there was a house at the top of the hill, Jacks parents could sue the owners for the dangerous landscaping after Jack breaks his crown.

I am convinced that Jack and Jill both died falling down a well that shouldn't have been there to begin with because it's a stupid place for a well. And with this information, it just seems odd and unnatural, so there is some supernatural force associated with the well and therefore this is the great set up for one of those Grimm Fairytale stories in which there is a lot of horror and disturbing things about the well and the dead people in it. I bet Jack and Jill weren't the only victims, I mean, poor Timmy fell down a well too, and in reality Lassie was never there to save him. Then there was that donkey, Amos, who fell into a well, but apparently this only applies to people because the donkey was rescued, or was he...? Dun dun dun.

Any more theories?

As I Wait In Great Anticipation For My First Comment Ever...

...let me tell you a story.

There once was a fish, and he didn't have a tail, and everyone made fun of him. One day, he was staring up at the sky looking at the birds, and he saw how pretty their tails were and he wanted one, so he snuck up on a sleeping bird and pulled out all of its tail feathers. The bird woke up and freaked out, but the fish was already gone. I don't know how glue works underwater, but apparently it does work, so he glued the feathers on and everyone was jealous. So his fishy friends (well, he didn't have any, they were friend-enemies...frienemies...???) anyways, they snuck up on him the same way he did the bird while he was asleep, and they took his feathers and pushed him carefully to where the birds slept. The birds found him and decided he would make a good snack, and just as they were about to gobble him up he woke up and freaked out. He noticed the bird that was trying to eat him was missing its tail feathers, and he said, "I know where your feathers are!" and the bird listened to him. He said that a gang of fish who wanted to fly like birds had taken the feathers in hopes of turning into birds. He led the bird to his frienemies and the bird gobbled them up. He was grateful to have his feathers back and wanted to thank the fish, so the bird gave the fish one of its feathers and the fish was happy. He didn't get eaten, and he had a feather-tail, and there was no one to make fun of him, and the ones that did were eaten by his birdie friend.
 
Kind of funny how he should have been the one who was eaten since he stole them in the first place

Being Witty Is Overrated

So, I have been having conversations with myself, in a completely sane way, mind you, and I have discovered that I can be quite the entertainer. Not to brag or anything. I have also realized that everyone thinks this way at one point or another. So let me say it like this, we all think we are special and different and that we all have unique thoughts, and it's depressing to think that other people do to, they think the same thing. 

Humans are, for the most part, very self centered.

And I am a hypocrite in many ways! 

So I was thinking, people who are good at raising plants have green thumbs. I normally kill the plants I have, so what color is my thumb? Brown?

I was walking down the hall the other day, and the girl in front of me stops her friend to look at a poster. The poster was advertising books, and saying there was a sale going on for one of them (I assume they were college course books) and the book cost $39. The girl who stopped her friend began to say, very loudly, "That's wrong! I got mine for $80, that poster is (omit this word) wrong!" 
My reaction? It she probably got it on the wrong day.
Poor poster, being yelled at because people don't think they do anything wrong, in her mind she was completely right, and anything (whether it is right or not) was wrong if it conflicted with her opinion. She didn't even stop to think that maybe it was a special sale, or an outdated poster.

I go through obsessions, most of them through what I want to paint, it used to be clouds, trees, dragons, birds, right now I am still obsessing over birds and their amazing and envious ability to fly. And yes, I did figure out that the little bird at the window of my speech class really does stalk me, I see it when I am in the library all of the time, an its name is Bird because I don't know the gender or anything about it's personality. Maybe I should call it Creeper, or Stalker, or Little-Bird-Who-Eats-Dead-Bugs-Off-Of-The-Windows-Near-Me-At-School.

Okay, this is now becoming pointless, so I shall retire this work of art and deep thoughts. The same way Deep Thought was retired after designing the worlds greatest super computer.

Adieu.

"Have A Nice Diurnal Anomaly"

(Before you read this, let it be known that I wrote this a while ago and just never posted it, so now I shall! Meaning, I'm not in astronomy class anymore, but I am still reading the book)

So, I am sitting here and there are two books in front of me. One called "A Beginner's Guide to the Universe" and "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe". I bet you can't guess which one I'm reading. The only reason the other one is in fro t of me is because I'm I my astronomy class.

Blogging is a lot harder than I originally thought, and it is very hard to be original, isn't it? I know someone super original though, and I think I will strive for that level of random fun originality! Just not now, I'm too lazy. But I do want to share some fun information of the workings of the universe!

First of all, learning about supermassive black holes has been the best thing this class has done for me, it is the most interesting thing that ever made me want to pay attention (which isn't very often). First of all, if you ever had the opportunity to get anywhere near a black hole, and you watched someone drive right into it, they would slow down, time slows down for them (from the perspective of the person outside) and from the person driving into the black hole, they go about as normal, and everything outside is going slow. So if the person in the black hole can go the speed of light and doesn't cross the Schwartzchild Radius (the point of no return, it is the point where going the speed of light will not get you anywhere, and you can't go faster than the speed of light so if you get to this point, you're screwed.) and you make it out alive, the other person will no longer be there because it may be billions of years into the future and you would never know it! I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO AMAZED OF THE THINGS IN THE SKY. ok, now for the less fortunate ending of this, if you get to the Schwartzchild Radius and don't make it out, you go through the process of spagetification, which is a real word, I just don't know if I spelled it right. This is what it sounds like, the gravity of the black hole, being so great, before it breaks you into billions of particles, first it stretches you out until you are as thin and noodle-y as a strand of spaghetti. Oh, and also, at the "end" of a "bottomless" black hole, is a never-ending universe. So basically, some scientists believe that the "end" of the black hole is the Big Bang for a completely different universe outside of our own. There is a diagram I drew to explain this and if I figure out how to put it on here I will show you! 

Okay, I know that was super cool, but to be honest, not even that beats the amazing way the universe works according to Douglas Adams, whom I wish was still alive because I would totally marry him.

Back And In Business!

This has been a very tough month for me, one of then longest and hardest, but I am looking past it because there is a lot of good as well! So back to how I was and normally am, and enjoy this!

I feel like I must say something really nice about Russia, but I know not one thing besides what I learned in history classes, which I get C's in anyways, so I shall just say, I had some Russian food once, it was delicious. And thank you Russia for having the most views on this blog (even though technically most of the views are from the US, but they don't count because I didn't know there was a button that counted my views too!)

This is late, but for those of you who celebrated Thanksgiving, I hope it was a great one and with lots of turkey and food, but no cranberry sauce...

With that said, I shall say that I think playing piano is a lot like singing, you hear it, but you don't know how it really sounds.

Also, the word 'lamb' is not pronounced 'lahm' which is what I was hearing the choir sing at church today. No, none of them have brittish accents as far as I know them, haha, but little things like that can drive me crazy!

Now that I have written something, I shall probably write something else to put off the studying I should be doing for my first college finals which start tomorrow!
See ya :D