(I would like to point out that I wrote this a while ago and it doesn't quite apply to me now, it did when I wrote it, but I thought maybe you would find some interest in this)
A Sort-Of (Not Really) Helpful (Yeah Right) Article-Thing for the Romantically Impaired (Such as Myself)
I've been sighing a lot lately, so much in fact that I don't notice I'm sighing until someone points it out. All of us go through these times, and sometimes they're difficult to get through. The worst are the wishful sighs, the ones you know are probably not going to happen in a million years, like it has the same chance of happening as pigs flying, or Hell freezing over, or something to that effect, and just my luck, the wishful sighs make up the majority of the one's I've had lately. Most of you have had the dilemma that I've found my self in now, and if you haven't, then you will, I can guarantee that. (Not that that's a good thing, it most definitely isn't.)
I'm confident that most of you know what I'm talking about by now, I mean, what other reasons are there to sigh as much as this? If you haven't guessed, maybe this will help clarify:
Imagine, if you would for a moment,
That you are walking somewhere,
Maybe down the street, in the school halls, or along the beach for example.
Can you see it?
If you can, then imagine that you suddenly notice someone familiar,
They're walking in your direction,
A little to the left of the path you are walking along.
As soon as you recognize who it is,
Imagine that your heart stops for a second.
(And not in a bad way, though it does sound a little unhealthy.)
When they pass, with maybe a glance, or a smile in your direction,
You can't help but smile too, or feel like dying a little from happiness.
But then they pass you and keep walking,
Leaving you to look at them over your shoulder
As they disappear.
If I were actually talking to you, rather than writing, this would be the point where you would hear me sigh a very long, drawn out sigh, that horrible, dreadful, and absolutely DESPISEABLE sound.
Now that you see my problem, you may be asking yourself at this moment, why is that sigh is such a horrible thing? Let me put it in one word for you:
Unrequited
If you don't know what that means (and I think you should know) it means not returned, or maybe one-sided in this context. Yes, it's a horrible word for circumstances such as these. You see, when you like someone, you sigh a lot, you think about them all the time, your grades may slowly start to drop, you always want to be hanging out with that person, though sometimes it feels strange to try to start up a conversation with them. Whenever you see them, you have a mini heart attack, whenever you hear their name, you jump, it's a really curious thing. (It almost sounds like a sickness, where the list above represents all the symptoms. Hey, maybe that's where the term 'love sick' comes from, what do you think? Smart, right?) You always wish you could read their mind, so that you wouldn't have to ask them what you really want to know the answers too. Your mood always revolves around that one person's actions or words towards you. If you see them and have a nice conversation, your day is amazingly bright, but if you don't see them, or they decide that they don't have much to say to you, the value of your day drops down so low that even the bugs are hitting their heads on it.
It's days like that which that bring on another type of sigh, if it can even be called that sometimes, because for the most part, this particular sigh turns into a very strange noise that most people don't make unless they're, I don't know, dying? I'm of course referring to the sigh of frustration, which sounds less like a sigh and more like this:
RAAAAAAAAWRG
Of course, with as many exclamation points as you feel it would need.
The reason for this sigh, which is about as bad as the wishful sigh, is the not knowing how the other person feels about you. How are you supposed to know? They're like a whole other species! Besides, you can't read their mind like you wish you could. And if you're shy like I am, then it's really difficult to ask. Also, a bit of advice, never ask your friends to talk to them, it's not very sincere, and if you absolutely have to write a note, make sure it's WRITTEN and not TYPED (Though I think that's pretty self explanatory.).
Of course, if you do talk to them, and for some reason they don't give you an answer either way, it's really frustrating to wait, especially since you don't want to seem desperate or stalker-like by approaching them again. You can never decide if you should try to hang out with them more, or if you should back off because you're being creepy, it's always really complicated (actually, it's more overly complicated, but that complicates things a little too much, so I'll leave it at that). Of course, it's times like this where a person can over-analyze everything, over-think everything that this one person does or says, and do something that turns out to be a regretful mistake (or it could be just plain embarrassing), or you could just not think rationally at all, and then regret the words you finally gathered the courage to say to them.
Of course, I'm not talking about just myself here, this could happen to anyone. I mean, none of this has happened to me right? (Just nod your head, and I'll be happy.) Besides, I'm speaking for everyone who's ever had this problem. Just write about it, or something, I find that it really helps.
Ok, and just to say this, it's really difficult to talk to that person sometimes, isn't it? I mean, there are always those awkward silences that pop up in random places when you really wish they wouldn't, and of course you can't run from them (Just because they would think you're strange if you just randomly ran away). It's especially bad when you're in the car with that person, and for some reason the radio isn't on and there's nothing being said. Can you say that this is a little problematic? What do you talk about in times like that? The weather?
Or maybe you're the opposite, and you talk too much around them, about things that don't matter, and you end up asking yourself why you would even talk about something like that? Do they even care enough about you to even try to listen to this kind of nonsense? No one really knows.
I think it's safe (and perfectly true) to say that the opposite sex is the most confusing and puzzling phenomena that humankind has ever faced, and none of it will ever be explained anytime soon. And myself? Things never seem to work out for me, but I hope that if, like me, things never work out, you may have gotten some really useless ideas from this that might serve a purpose at a later date (no pun intended). With all that said, I wish you luck.
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